You know that line about how people have the love life they think they deserve? Well, apparently, the US thinks they deserve Donald Trump as their political leader. How did this happen?

Being a political know-nothing and not American, I’m probably not qualified to comment on the issues affecting our southern neighbours that led to such a Twilight Zone-esque state of affairs… but if I only commented on the things for which I was qualified, I would only ever talk about beer drinking and slacking off.

Back to the ‘how did this happen’ question. While I agree with my editor in that complex problems require complex solutions, I have a few suggestions that are fairly simple… and right about now is where I would usually make a very lame joke about Trump being simple, but I’m so far removed from humour at the moment, I don’t want to bother.

First off, people don’t like thinking because they are lazy. People like comfort. Thinking about uncomfortable things makes people uncomfortable. Allowing yourself to accept “Make America Great Again” as a political slogan is comforting. Looking beyond the fame, money and nonsensical rhetoric is uncomfortable.

You might end up realizing the flaws in the US political system that allowed a man so woefully under-qualified – to the point where the majority of the talking heads in his own party never gave him a shot – to sit as president. It’s uncomfortable to think what sort of damage he could do in such a position, so the people who voted for him didn’t think about that. They accepted, as fact, what little Trump said during his campaign and picked him to run the show.

At least, I hope this is the case. Otherwise, over 63 million people did their due diligence and still thought the least presidential candidate of all time was the right candidate to sit as president. That is a scary thought.

Secondly, when 2.86 million separates the candidates and the person with fewer votes loses, there is obviously a flaw in the election process. I think democracy is flawed anyway, what with people being idiots and all, but someone might want to take a look at the electoral college. Granted, since it is a major reason Trump won the White House, I think he and his mates will do anything to make sure the system stays as is. (I hate calling anything “the system.” It makes me feel like a hippy.)

Maybe I’m off. Perhaps Trump will prove a lot of people wrong and turn out to be a good president. Maybe the Vegas odds makers are wrong to offer 4-1 odds on an impeachment in six months. Who knows? All I can say for sure is Trump’s inauguration speech was depressing and more than a little worrisome.

“Together we will make American strong again. We will make America wealthy again. We will make American proud again. We will make American safe again, and together, yes, we will make American great again.”

Awesome. Just awesome. That doesn’t sound ominous at all. Nope. Not even a little. (Shudder.)

I’m done now.