I am going to keep this column Trump free for the rest of the year.
Obviously, that’s an easy statement to make as I will only write three more columns this year but still, I thought you should know. As much as I enjoy taking shots at the Tang-dusted Pillsbury Doughboy that is the president-elect, he isn’t even in power yet. I’m sure things are going to get much worse so I might as well save my vitriol.
Anyway, it’s time for my annual column listing the movies I might actually pay to see next year. In the coming weeks, I’ll cover my best of and possibly a review of sorts of Final Fantasy 15, which will take up much of my life outside of work and the gym for the next few months.
Here we go.
1) Lego Batman: Lego makes very enjoyable movies and this looks to be more fun than the uber enjoyable The Lego Movie. It’s not Shakespeare but it looks to be a good time. The odds are also good that I will enjoy this movie more than the next stand-alone Batman movie. Verdict: Definite rental, if not a matinee with my nephew.
2) Wolverine 2: I will go see this movie, if for no other reason than to remind me it’s time to stop wasting money on movies I know I won’t enjoy. The comic upon which the film is “loosely based” (this never means what you hope it will mean) was very good but the trailer looks to be a mess. Verdict: Watch as the first movie in a double feature, followed by a movie so good it will let me forget about the money I threw away on Wolverine 2.
3) Fast and Furious 8: Nope. Verdict: Nope.
4) Guardians of the Galaxy 2: In the early running to be my favourite big movie of 2017. The last one was a big surprise and a film I can watch repeatedly. Plus, we know the characters now so there is more time for hijinks and things blowing up. Verdict: Likely the only movie in the list I’ll see twice in the theatre.
5) Star Wars 8: I have to see Star Wars in the theatre. It’s a clause in my nerd license. I almost lose said license every year when I refuse to watch anything anime related with my friend Liam, so I can’t get into anymore trouble. Verdict: Obvious watch.
6) Wonder Woman: I remain on the fence. I would like to see it with a woman (stop laughing) to get a female perspective but going alone or with another dude… meh. Verdict: Big giant maybe.
7) Spiderman: The Spiderman in Civil War was my favourite Spiderman to date and there is talk of an Ironman appearance. Still, this character burned me three times already. I’m not sure I want to subject myself to more. Verdict: Possible theatre watch if a flask of hard liquor is involved.
8) Thor Ragnarok: Thor is the most boring of all the Avengers characters. Yes, that includes Hawkeye. I would watch the pants off a Hawkeye series on Netflix. (That is a semi-joke that only works if you know what the Hawkeye Initiative is. Please Google it now.) He is so boring, in fact, the producers are including Hulk and Dr. Strange. However, this will likely be a pivotal lead-in for Avengers Infinity Wars so… yeah. Verdict: Sadly, it’s a must see movie and I am a completionist nerd so to the theatre I go.
9) Justice League: You’ve over played your god-awful hand, DC. I cared not for your Superman-Batman team-up and I care even less about the new characters you are throwing into the mix. So there. Verdict: Definite theatre watch. I am a weak, weak man.
I’m done now.