As I am on vacation, it’s time for a vacation column. Usually that means making fun of a movie but I think the revival of Mystery Science Theatre has that covered so I’ll have to go a different route.

After thoughts of doing something witty, fun, and original, I’ve decided to stick with an old standby and present you with another random thoughts column. Why? Because I am on vacation and I am king when I am on vacation. (In truth, I would make a horrible dictator. There would be beheadings as far as the eye could see, and no one’s ice cream sandwich would be safe. I would be overthrown and beheaded in a matter of weeks. I’d only last days if it were in the summer as I am notoriously cranky in the warmer months.) Anyway, here we go.

I maintained my freeze out of the NHL and ignored every minute of play-off hockey so far. Was it hard? No, not really. When it comes down to it and something needs to be ignored, I am right up there with the best of them. I can out-ignore you on your best day.

With that said, the NHL is also doing its part. I thought it might be hard to miss out on Canada’s favourite passtime but with only one Canadian team remaining and that team being Ottawa, I am confident in predicting I will maintain radio silence as far as the NHL is concerned. (I am not sure why I dislike Ottawa so much but I think it has to do with hating their name, their colours, and their logo. I can root for any Canadian team but I care the very least about Ottawa.)

It also helps that I am not impressed with a league that ignores potential Canadian cities in favour of an already over-flowing American market. I mean, Las Vegas instead of Quebec City, or Hamilton, or virtually any Canadian metropolis with an appropriate population base? I think a pro hockey team in Moncton would draw a bigger crowd than Las Vegas. Vegas is already getting an NFL team. I really doubt there is going to be much love left over for Vegas. I think the best the league can hope for is an arena sparsely filled with people who received tickets as part of some hotel package.

Being away from work means I am hearing almost nothing about the election, which has been wonderful. Sure there are still signs on the road and I saw people standing on street corners last week, but it’s been mercifully quiet. Plus, I’ve only been asked my prediction just once.

Either people listened to my previous rants and are avoiding me, or I am just really good at staying hidden while on vacation. I enjoy being good at things so let’s say it is the latter. Plus it might look good on a resume.

Yesterday I saw advertised a prequel for The Big Bang Theory focusing on lead character Sheldon Cooper as a little kid. I’m not sure the stakes could be any lower for me but I’ve decided to issue one small comment: CBS, you are clearly drunk on success and need to calm down. Go home, have a drink or do whatever it is you Hollywood types need to do to relax, and rethink your life.

I’m done now.

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Antigonish native Matt Draper has been a photographer, reporter and columnist for The Reporter since 2003.