I was going to do a column comparing ninjas and pirates in order to finally settle the raging debate as to which is cooler but then I thought it might be a bit insensitive to people who were boarded by pirates or assassinated by ninjas so I am taking a different route.

With a provincial election on the way (or so the slew of recent funding announcements would have me believe, not to mention the fact they called the election on Sunday), I figured it’s time to offer my two cents on the whole thing.

As a refresher, I dislike politics and have no horse in the race whatsoever. The last candidate I voted for was Spider-Man so please believe me when I say I don’t care who wins, loses, or is outright humiliated. The following is just a prediction. I have nothing for or against the parties involved. Any of them could win and my pulse wouldn’t change.

The Liberals: What with the whole teachers thing, the party is likely not on as strong a ground as they would like. However, even with bad blood from the NSTU, its members, and some parents, the Liberals remain the clear favourite. I expected to see more movement from the Liberals’ first term but perhaps they were just trying to hang on for a second term and now is when the “real change” will happen. I kid of course. There is not such thing as “real change” when it comes to politics. It’s usually just the same thing over and over.

The Conservatives: What can be said about the Conservatives that can’t be said about a plate of mashed potatoes? They’re bland but they do the trick, I suppose. I just don’t see them inspiring a lot of people to vote for a change. They will likely get a few more seats but I don’t think it will be enough to leave the Liberals with a minority government.

The NDP: DOA. I don’t think people will give the NDP a chance in Nova Scotia anytime soon. I have been surprised before, like when they won two elections ago, but they would have to pull off something just short of a miracle to even gain ground. I’d be surprised if they don’t struggle to keep what they have.

The Greens: I am not sure what it is with the Green party but I get the feeling even they know they have no chance of winning and are just hoping to keep the party alive in the hope they will grow into a legitimate contender. They can boast about having a full slew of candidates all they want but I don’t think anyone is fooled about the Greens actually gaining political clout anytime soon. As far as strategies go, I would suggest they come up with some practical solutions to environmental issues that can be adopted by whomever wins.

Anyway, as per usual, please do not engage me in any sort of political discussion. This is about all I have to say about politics right here and I wrote this as my opening and closing statement on the matter.

I’m done now.