Almost two years in, there’s no doubt the #MeToo movement has brought about change. Women have felt empowered to tell their stories, and companies have made improvements to their harassment policies. People in a variety of fields, of a variety of ages, have faced some form of punishment for behavior that has ranged from creepy to despicable to abominable.
For months their unglamorous fall from grace has headlined every news cycle. You can’t swing a cat without hitting another man, often a prominent one, who has been accused of behaving inappropriately toward a woman he works with or around. The latest to face allegations of sexual misconduct is self-help guru Tony Robbins. Last week, four women accused him of groping them, making unwanted advances, and other, sicker behaviours. He’s denied the charges – almost all of them have, and there are many.
But like all crusades, #MeToo has had its unintended consequences – reactions that are proving counterproductive and detrimental to working environments According to a just-released study south of the border, 60 per cent of male managers say they’re uncomfortable interacting with women at work. That’s almost double the percentage who, in 2018, said they were hesitant to mentor, socialize, and meet one-on-one with women. Senior male managers were also more likely to hesitate about traveling with a woman and more likely to reconsider having a work dinner.
Anyone who has worked outside the home in a professional setting knows that networking can be very important and personal meetings can be essential to building a career and climbing the corporate ladder. When opportunities for this kind of interaction are unavailable, employees suffer. This is particularly true for women, who historically have not had an inside track to promotions.
The survey results shouldn’t be a total surprise, though. Late last year, Bloomberg News published an article about how male finance executives said they were refusing to dine alone with women, leaving the door open during one-on-one meetings, and even staying on different floors in hotels during business trips. A piece in the New York Times quoted men at the World Economic Forum who said they were so scared of being accused that they no longer planned to mentor women. This kind of segregation almost guarantees that fewer women will advance in their field.
These reactions aren’t unique. Worries over the #MeToo fallout also come from an unlikely demographic; professional women who happen to be the mothers of sons. Their input in the survey was firm and matter-of-fact, reporting their advice to their sons was to never be alone with a female colleague, to make sure there is always another person in the room to avoid a he-said-she-said situation.
I understand their concerns perfectly, because they coincide with my own. While action against the guilty should be decisive and swift, we should be mindful that one false accusation, no matter how baseless, can ruin a career, since the fog of doubt lingers long after someone has been cleared. Like other mothers of sons, I like to think I’ve taught them well and that they practice what I’ve preached, but in some situations, completely eliminating the opportunity for any exchange might be the safest course of action.
Because – and stay with me here, this may not be a popular opinion – part of the problem of the #MeToo movement has been that the media, as well as some women, haven’t always distinguished between misinterpreted statements and the sort of serial, predatory behaviors of which Harvey Weinsteins of the world have been accused. There are several shades of gray between the way one women interprets one compliment on their work, and sexual harassment suffered at the hand of a workplace sleaze. In my opinion, making them equivalent lessens the power of the #MeToo platform.
This is not to say that sexual harassment should be acceptable – it never is. There is no license for people to make their coworkers uncomfortable by behaving inappropriately. But women must clearly differentiate between innocent conversation and behavior worthy of investigation. Not everyone in the world is going to act the way we want them to act, but sensitivity to that, even offense to that, is not the same as criminal harassment.
And men… well, the shady ones must be held accountable for the bad behaviour that is making life more difficult for GOOD men. They have to step up to do what’s right, not just by holding harassers accountable but by giving the same opportunities to all employees, regardless of sex. It’s up to both sides to make workplaces comfortable.