I wasn’t expecting to find anything compelling in the latest craze to sweep the Internet, the “Three Fictional Characters” meme that encourages Twitter and Facebook participants to post images of the three imaginary icons that best represent themselves.
When it first appeared a couple of weeks ago, I shrugged it off as a cute time-waster with about as much practical use as quizzes inviting us to determine which obscure animated Disney character we are, or the latest befuddling cryptic status line that’s somehow supposed to promote breast cancer awareness.
And then, just before writing this column, I actually found my fictional trio and was surprised at how much these very different characters have to say about me, and about each other.
The characters in question: MAD Magazine cover boy Alfred E. Neuman, Muppet leader Kermit the Frog, and Linus Van Pelt, the thumb-sucking theologian of Charles M. Schulz’s legendary comic strip Peanuts.
Anybody who knows me even a little bit, including you poor souls that read the ramblings I place in this space every week, shouldn’t be especially shocked by my choices. But the reasons I picked them might surprise you, just as they wound up surprising me.
There are obvious parallels between Alfred and myself: Neither of us are matinee idols, but we’re both mischief-makers who enjoy taking what the world considers normal or commonplace and flipping it upside-down. We’re both missing something you’d expect to find on our faces – with Alfred, it’s a tooth, and with me, it’s a working left eye – but we both have the sensibility to realize that things aren’t always as they seem.
And we’re both adopted. I’ve discussed my own case in a previous column; Neuman’s is the stuff of pop-culture legend.
You see, various versions of Alfred have been kicking around since the 1890s, on everything from soda bottles to billboards for “painless dentists.” MAD’s first editor, Harvey Kurtzman, took a liking to the gap-toothed boy and started using him as clip-art in the magazine’s early years. Follow-up editor Al Feldstein made Alfred the front-cover mascot 61 years ago, and MAD will likely keep him there as long as the magazine exists.
Moving on to Kermit, the parallels are just as obvious. We both love to sing and we’re both spotlight-cravers at heart. Although we’ve each spent time as news reporters, the frog and I find ourselves regularly hosting and/or organizing variety shows. Despite having reputations for being even-keeled in leadership positions, we’ve both been known to lose our tempers on rare occasions.
Also, Kermit and I often find ourselves surrounded by colourful characters. We both like our tea. Since I’m a snorkeler and SCUBA-diver, we’re both frequently seen in flippers (and often happiest when we’re in flippers). And while we both still miss Jim Henson, over 26 years after his death, we’re equally grateful for the talent and tireless energy of the man who took on Jim’s most prominent characters (including Kermit), Steve Whitmire.
Finally, there’s Linus, who came to me well after I figured out that Alfred and Kermit would take the first two slots. And yet, as I think it over, I don’t know why I would choose anyone else.
For starters, we both turn to the Word of God for direction in our daily lives. Schulz frequently put Scripture verses in Linus’ mouth for several of the Peanuts strips that ran from 1960 to 1990, bringing the funny pages a rarely-seen Christian perspective. (One of the most iconic scenes in TV history, Linus’ recitation of a portion of the Gospel of Luke in A Charlie Brown Christmas, was nearly nixed by nervous CBS executives who told Schulz that “the Bible thing scares us.”)
While we might seem confident on the outside, Linus and I each have insecurities that require our own versions of security blankets. We’re always happy to help out friends in need, including the Charlie Browns in our lives, but we require wise and gentle counsel more than we might be willing to let on.
That being said, I also feel like I line up with Linus because we both see equal value in approaching the world as a thinking adult and approaching life with the enthusiasm and imagination of a child. And we’re both aware that we’ll never entirely fit in with the rest of the world – and we’re both just fine with that.
And there you have it: How a talking frog, a grinning goof and the Great Pumpkin’s biggest fan all somehow work for me. Here’s hoping you find your own “three characters” to learn a little more about yourself sometime soon.